In our MovingWorlds Institute Global Fellowship, which helps working professionals create more impact in their careers, we have an entire module dedicated to mentor identification, relationship building, and long-term follow-up. Whether our Fellows are changing careers, growing their current roles, or starting their own companies, we find the following eight steps effective for finding and building a relationship with the right mentor:

Get a pen and paper and write out your career goals. Don’t be vague here - setting goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound) is proven to help you achieve them. (For inspiration, check out these 5 great examples of SMART goals for your career.) Then, list out some of the biggest obstacles between where you are now and achieving those goals. Maybe you need to develop new skills, expand your network in a specific sector, or build confidence to have some tough conversations. Going into this level of specificity will help you decide what type of mentor you should be looking for, and where to look for them.

Equipped with your goals, and the gaps you need to fill to achieve them, now it’s time to think through how a mentor can help. What type of mentor can help you seize your biggest opportunities and/or navigate your biggest challenges? Be specific here. If you’re thinking about starting your own social enterprise, you probably want a mentor with entrepreneurial experience. If you’re considering a career transition from operations to CSR, you probably want a mentor who works in corporate sustainability and can make introductions to people at a certain level within that space.

Taking the time to write this out will not only help ensure you’re asking the right person, but also help your potential mentor make an informed decision about whether they can support you. In your job description, make sure to also include the “why” – just like companies want potential hires to understand the bigger purpose of their work, mentors want to understand the bigger purpose of supporting you. You can then use this description when reaching out to potential mentors to make sure you’re both aligned up front.

Even if you don’t know someone off the top of your head who fits your ideal mentor description, chances are someone you know does. LinkedIn is a great tool to help you find connections who can introduce you to potential mentors you want to meet. According to Adam Grant, second degree and dormant connections can be as powerful as your most trusted friends.

You can use a template like this to make your first ask for an introduction:

As a first step, email your potential mentor to schedule an initial conversation. Don’t ask them to be your mentor in this first exchange - at this point, the goal is to learn more about each other. To help them understand the context of who you are and why you’re reaching out, mention the person that introduced you or how you know each other. Here’s an example of what that could look like:

If they agree to scheduling a phone call or in-person meeting, that’s great! Now it’s time to do your homework so that you can come prepared. Learn as much as you can about their work, past experience, and big accomplishments - you want to be able to ask intelligent questions and draw direct parallels between their experiences and the areas you are trying to develop.

Your goal for the meeting is two-fold: 1. Identify whether this person is really the right mentor for you, and 2. See how open this person is to the idea of mentoring you. Clearly express the guidance you’re seeking early in the meeting, whether that’s making a career change to their sector, deciding whether to go back to school, or navigating departmental politics. Make it clear to your potential mentor that you’re willing to commit the time, energy, and effort to make the most of their advice and time.

And one more note: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Without the right clarity up-front, they will be left wondering why you want to meet with them. Are you asking for a job? Are you trying to sell them something? The more clarity you can add, in a concise and complimentary way, the better. This is why clear email asks and setting the content of the meeting upfront is important.

After your call, spend some time reflecting on how it went. Did it feel like a good fit? Could you see yourself building a relationship with this person over the longer-term? Regardless of whether the answer to those questions is yes or no, send a follow-up email to thank them for their time. If it did feel like a good fit, also mention that you’d like to connect again. If your potential mentor reciprocates, get something on the calendar to keep you both accountable.

It’s important to remember that while people are certainly busy, being asked to be a mentor is a tremendous compliment. People might say “no” to being a mentor, but by asking them you’ve still established a connection that may be helpful in the future. You’ll likely have to ask more than one person, and that’s ok. As you consider who to ask, keep in mind these selection criteria from Eric Barker:

• Avoid Someone Who Reminds You of a Courteous Waiter
• Seek Someone Who Scares You a Little
• Seek Someone Who Gives Short, Clear Directions
• Seek Someone Who Loves Teaching Fundamentals
• Other Things Being Equal, Pick the Older Person

Asking someone to be your mentor for the first time might feel a little awkward. It requires you to be vulnerable, and opens you up to the potential for a rejection. But instead of framing a “no” as a rejection, try to reframe it as a valuable part of the learning process. Eventually, you will connect with the right person whose expertise is a match for your goals!

We know from behavioral economics that people’s choices are influenced by the words, situations, and/or settings in which they are presented. You’re more likely to get a “yes” if you have a dedicated time and space to have the conversation; that way, you won’t be rushed and the other person has a chance to ask questions and learn more about your goals.

By the second or third time you meet with each other, both you and your mentor will feel much more comfortable formalizing your mentorship arrangement. Consider creating a simple one-page document outlining what you hope to accomplish together over the next 6 months, how often you’ll meet, and the commitments you’ll be responsible for. Then, set the stage to discuss it together at your next meeting by saying something like, “I truly appreciate your time, and I really want to make sure I’m making the most of it, as I know you’re limited. I was thinking that I could prepare a simple document that would share my goals with you, my commitment to you, and what milestones I hope to achieve in the next 6 months. I think it’ll help hold me accountable to come prepared to our conversations. Would you be OK with that?”

There are two key points here:

1. If you don’t get a response, you can ask again
2. If people ignore you, keep trying to find other people

Think about the last time you forgot to respond to an email, text message, or phone call. It probably happens to you every week. This happens to others, too. If people don’t respond to your initial ask, it’s possible that they simply forgot. While it is possible they are not available or interested, it is OK to follow-up. Simply wait about 5-15 days, and then reply on the last message you sent with a gentle nudge, something like: “Hi Name. I’m writing with a quick follow-up on the email below. I hope you can consider my request. Certainly, if now is not a good time or you don’t have availability, I certainly understand. Thanks so much!”

Should people say no, that is OK and normal. We’re all busy, and sometimes we just don’t have time. When you get a no, don’t take it as a reflection or judgement of you as a person. Take a moment to think about why the no happened, and then use that insight to amend your approach as you reach out to more individuals. Here's more information about how to grow from the feedback you receive.

People will feel good about investing in you if you can show them the impact of that investment. When your potential mentor offers you advice, let them know how it goes once you follow it. Even better, send a hand-written thank you note clearly explaining how their support has contributed to your success.