In our previous article published in Harvard Business Review, “How to Build a Great Relationship with a Mentor”, we shared 8 strategies for building breakthrough mentoring relationships. The following is a complementary article to help mentors most effectively support their mentees (and benefit in the process).

If you ask a successful person what has made them successful, they will undoubtedly highlight how a small group of individuals were paramount to their success. In the 2020 Vistage CEO Confidence Index survey, 86% of over 1,300 CEOs agreed that mentors have been a critical part of their career accomplishments. In the global acceleration network we operate at MovingWorlds, we support world-positive entrepreneurs in over 120 countries with non-financial support – including access to pro bono mentors from global corporations including EY, SAP, F5, and more. The data from our network shows that in effective mentoring relationships, not only do our entrepreneurs benefit, but our mentors get something special, too.

Mentors benefit from the relationship by feeling more purpose, refining their own skills and knowledge, and learning valuable insights that their mentees bring to the relationship. Mentors also gain fresh perspectives that help them unlock immediate value in their jobs as it helps them look at their tasks in new ways. In the long run, the combination of teaching while also learning from mentees, results in building leadership and innovation abilities, and positively contributing to the mentor’s career. While many people that mentor recoil at the thought of engaging as a mentor for self gain, embracing this will actually benefit all parties. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Before jumping into a mentorship relationship, we want to discuss two important precursors that hold people back from mentoring… or jumping into mentoring relationships that aren’t the right fit.

Don’t hold back: One doesn't necessarily need extensive experience to be an effective mentor. This misconception about needing decades of experience often dissuades younger individuals from embracing mentorship roles or seeking out mentees. However, the effectiveness of a mentor lies not solely in their experience, but also in their ability to relate and guide others on similar paths. Often, mentees benefit most from mentors who are slightly ahead in their journeys, as they can offer more relatable insights. Thus, rather than being deterred by a lack of extensive experience, individuals should recognize their potential to inspire and support others, regardless of their stage in life.

Don’t over commit: While we wholeheartedly and enthusiastically think that everybody should seek to mentor and be mentored, it is important to be strategic. Before committing to being a mentor, you should think carefully about whether this is the right match for you. Sometimes, in a desire to please other people and/or fulfill our own egos, we can easily say yes to things that we don’t have the time to do or aren’t the best match. Mentoring in a meaningful way does take time, and so it is important to be discerning and to only say yes to engagements that fit within your availability, areas of expertise, and towards a cause.

6 Strategies for Effective Mentoring

With these disclaimers out of the way, here are 6 strategies to increase the likelihood of unleashing the hidden potential of your mentee, how to benefit in the process, and why doing so will help you both more in the long-run.

1. Define the “job to be done” of your mentee

Mentoring relationships rarely start with a wedding-like formality that results in a clear start date. It’s more like a friendship turned romance that blooms over time such that one day, both parties realize that they have something more special than just an occasional get together. Similar to such a romance, neither party can clearly state when the mentoring actually started, only both acknowledge that they really enjoy their repeated time together. 

However, leaving the success of any relationship up to chance is a risky proposition. In the book Platonic, author Marissa G. Franco highlights research showing that asking someone to be a friend can help accelerate progress towards something that both parties want, but feel too awkward to ask for. The same is true for mentorship.

To create the most effective relationship, investing even a little time defining what the relationship is (and isn’t) can help. To help with this definition, it’s a good idea to have the mentee clearly describe what their goals are, and how you can help them make progress. While this may seem a little awkward at first given the non-monetary relationship, without this definition, both parties risk wasting time and seeing the relationship dwindle. Common misinterpretations in mentee relationships include mentees getting advice on how to perform in their job when they are really desiring a new one, or an entrepreneur getting tips on how to improve their product when they really need help hiring a product leader. 

Just a little time and documentation can help ensure all parties will benefit the most. Mentors should help build this clarity by having the mentor write down and share:

• Why the mentee wants a mentor in the first place, including the mentee’s personal AND professional goals are

• What skills, know-how, and insights they need to make progress

• Who else they have in their network to help obtain the needed information

• When they prefer to meet and how much time they can invest in the relationship

• How you, the Mentor, will also benefit from the relationship by sharing your own goals for this partnership

We even recommend you formalize this with a statement of work document that you both sign.

2. Coach before you educate, educate before you guide

It’s human nature to excitedly brainstorm ideas, jump into tactics, and give advice, even when not asked. But as Einstein famously quoted, “If I were given one hour to save the planet, I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute resolving it.” As such, the majority of any conversation should be you asking questions to help your mentee arrive at a clear problem statement, brainstorm their own solutions to it, weigh the pros/cons of that solution, and then come up with their own action plan. This process is coaching (see the GROW model for more tips to improve at this). 

Sometimes, though, coaching is not enough. If the mentee is struggling to make progress, you can step into educating mode. In educating mode, you want to pass on knowledge about how to move forward, but not tell the person what to do. One of the best ways to educate is to tell stories, so think of your past experience and share stories that articulate not only a solution, but how you arrived at a solution. You can also use this time to share frameworks or knowledge that, once known, will help your mentee arrive at their own conclusion. To make your advice especially helpful to the mentor, care should be taken. The goal is not to come across as a genius or hero in sharing your own stories. Downplay your ego and try to share your achievements in the context of a mental model or framework (see point #3). Doing this helps the mentee in the long-run, as they can recall the framework to help guide them to the next step, instead of creating dependency on you as a person.

Only if a mentee is truly stuck should you jump into guide mode and tell the mentee what to do. Once you do this, make sure to find time for a future conversation to come back and analyze the situation to help the mentee develop their own capabilities to more quickly arrive at their own solutions in the future.

Interestingly, slowing down and attempting to coach, educate, and then guide only as a last resort will help you think through your own experiences in a way that will further formalize the learnings of them for yourself, too.

3. Transfer thinking frameworks and mental models, not tactical advice

As Adam Grant shared, “The best way to learn from mentors is not to absorb what they know, but to internalize how they think. Collecting their knowledge helps you address the challenges of the day. Understanding their thought process helps you navigate the challenges of a lifetime.”

Mentees are quick to ask for advice and likely quicker to action on the things you tell them to do. You can help them more in the long-term by helping them slow down, more fully grasp the situation ahead of them, and internalize a mental model for how to move through any challenge that arises. 

So the next time a mentee brings a problem to you, you can start the conversation by defining that problem, and then collaborating to define the mental model you will move through together. The following situations, and corresponding frameworks are useful to familiarize yourself

• Innovation: Design Thinking

• Business strategy: Business model canvas

• Entrepreneurship: Lean startup and Customer Development

• Sales: Demand Side Sales, Solutions Sales, Challenger Sales

• Marketing: Value proposition design

• Managing: Multipliers

• Moving through conflict: Thanks for the Feedback, Nonviolent Communication

• Many more exist depending on role, industry, life stage, and goals...

And if you’re dealing with a problem and neither of you know a framework, head to the internet together to search for frameworks or mental models that can help. Choose one, and then discuss the problem the mentee is facing through the lens of that framework.

4. Document your reflections, and share them with your mentee

As you help your mentee navigate growth, something special will happen to you, too. Your own thinking will crystalize. By virtue of explaining your own values and thought patterns, you’ll better understand how these help you make progress. To teach is to learn twice, as the old adage goes. We recommend you add a 15 min silent period after your mentorship conversations to write down your thoughts about your interaction. Any free form writing will be helpful, or use these journal prompts to get started:

• What was the problem the mentee was coping with?

• What knowledge did they need to move forward, and what experience from my past gave them the information they needed

• If I could go back in time, what would I have done differently

• How could I use this conversation to help myself make progress towards my own goals?

Every so often, share your reflections back to your mentee. We've heard that many relationships attrition because the mentee feels bad about taking up too much time of the mentor, when in fact, we hear that mentors wish their mentees would reach out to them, more. By sharing your reflections and learning with your mentee, not only do you help model a "growth mindset", but you help them show that the relationship is mutual.

5. Enforce – and reinforce – rigor in the relationship

In the world of fitness, personal trainers often say that the hardest part of any workout is "delivering your body" to the gym. This is perhaps the most important function that personal trainers provide: accountability to show up on time and be there for a set amount of time.

As a Mentor, you are a personal trainer for the mind. You can help your mentee show up, spend time, and commit the effort. Life will happen, meetings will need to get rescheduled, or cancellation requests will arrive. Taking initiative to make sure scheduled meetings actually happen is one of the best things you can do, and we also recommend you ask the mentee to email you 48 hours in advance with a list of discussion topics so that they are more specific in their needs, and you should also assign them reflection homework - even if it’s a short journal entry or email the next day with a recap. Doing so will help your mentee prepare more effectively and reflect on the experience more – the combination of which accelerates behavior change and skill development. 

An addition tip here: Getting your mentee to write as part of a reflection process can be particularly powerful. Writing is proven to improve retention of information and behavior change. We recommend that the mentee write -- with the mentor guiding this -- a monthly recap of (1) what the mentee learned, (2) what the mentee will try in the coming month, and (3) what the mentor can help with. The more precise the writing, the more likely it is to work. So, for somebody trying to improve as a manager, writing something like “asking more questions of my team before providing an opinion” will not result in change as surely as the following, “In my one-on-one meetings this week, I will tell my reports that I am working on trying to ask more questions, every response from me will start with a question, and I will count to 10 seconds before speaking in times of silence. After one month, I will then send a survey to my reports asking them for feedback on what is working well and what I should work on next.” 

6. Check-in and offer time

How many times have you NOT made an ask of someone because you were worried about being an inconvenience, scared about getting rejected, or fearful of being considered a leach? Your mentee will have the same feelings. We recommend you break the ice on this by being the one to actively suggest when you will meet next, and what you both will do in between. Too often, mentoring relationships pause even when both parties want to continue. 

To increase the odds of a successful partnership, try to remove ambiguity in your offers.

• Instead of “just email me anytime you want to chat”, offer a more precise call time “how about we schedule time in two weeks - how does Thursday at noon sound”.

• Instead of suggesting the mentee to email you discuss topics prior to your next meeting, as you approach your next meeting, email your mentee 72 hours in advance and ask them to send you a list of discussion topics so you can better prepare.

• After the meeting, email your mentee your own reflections, and suggest the mentee do the same back to you.

As time goes on, you’ll find the right pattern with your mentee, but taking initiative at the start to show you are committed to their success will lay the foundation for a high-impact relationship.

In Summary

In aggregate, the suggestions above take just a little extra time and greatly increase the odds of a productive partnership. Too often, the hidden potential of people is not fully tapped because they are not exposed to the relationships that can help them make progress in their lives. Mentors have the ability to help create these conditions with relatively little time investments. In doing so, mentors also formalize their own thinking into mental models that can aid them in their own lives, too. 

This guide to mentorship was written by the team at MovingWorlds:

• Alam Bains is the Head of Accounts & Programs at MovingWorlds where she leads partnerships with companies like EY, SAP, F5, and more to activate employees to volunteer their skills with social innovators, and then return to their day jobs equipped to make their company more sustainable and equitable from the inside out.

• Mark Horoszowski is the co-founder & CEO of MovingWorlds, a global platform that helps corporations engage and educate employees at scale to integrate sustainability, social innovation, and inclusion into their day-to-day work.